There’s nothing wrong with being assertive, is there? Ain’t that the truth?! #attitude I know this too well.
If you’re short like me, you learn to be invisible, pushed around, or you become a fighter. I chose to be a fighter.
Sad to say, when I started school I was about a head shorter than all my classmates. Not only did I begin kindergarten when I was 4 (instead of 5) but I was also REALLY REALLY short. Not kinda short.
I mean REALLY short – the kind of short that made my parents take me to the doctor to find out why I hadn’t grown AT ALL for 2 years. They thought I was going to be the height of a 4 year old forever. It honestly worried them, and me too.
For some weird reason I didn’t grow at all for 2 years. Now, looking back, I wonder if being pushed around, stressed and bullied had anything to do with my lack of physical growth.
I had to learn how to make myself heard because otherwise I would be looked over or dismissed.
I had to learn to show people that I’m capable, even though I was so much smaller than everyone else.
I had to learn how to stand up for myself because even though I had amazingly supportive parents, they couldn’t be there at school with me every time someone called me short, shrimp, chubs, chubby, little or shorty. (It cut me to the core… the word short wasn’t even allowed in my house at all because my family knew heads would roll if anyone mentioned my height – or lack thereof).
The problem with getting pushed around is one can learn to shut off their feelings, push them down, adopt the mentality of “never let em see you sweat”. That can serve you but it can also hinder you.
I developed such a tough exterior that I inadvertently would hurt people, react in anger and really be unaware of my personal emotions or how to handle them. It’s taken me years to figure out what’s bugging me and learn to mange my own emotions.
This is something I’m working so hard to help my children develop. I always remembered feeling so out of control in my own mind body that it lead me to try to control everything around me eventually. Not. Good.
If you’re a control freak too, you get me. It’s not fun. And there’s no peace or freedom in that.
Its taken me a long time and I’m not perfect but every day I work to become a better version of me – a person who feels happiness, not anger.
A person who believes she IS worthy, not damaged.
A person who believes that different is AWESOME, not something to try to hide.
Today I’m glad I don’t blend in. Im grateful this challenge made me tenacious.
I feel blessed beyond measure that I know how to identify my emotions and realize I HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE THEM IF I CHOOSE TO.
The word short no longer makes me cringe. I embrace that God made me who I am for a purpose and I trust His purpose. It’s good to have a little attitude – just make sure you’re using it for good.